Category Archives: Uncategorized

I was thinking today if I should go back to work. I’ve been feeling kind of bored. It’s been almost 3 years since I started my mini retirement, when I stopped working full-time. I had thought to spend only 2 years going without work, thinking I would finish spending all my savings and have toContinue reading “Boredom”

Some days, even before you open your eyes in the morning, you just know it’s gonna be a bad day. Then you have a choice. Either you wallow in bed in self-pity, or you get up anyway and face the day. You keep busy. You do the things you’ve been putting off. Preferably things thatContinue reading “Some days”

Dealing with depression and anxiety means that there are good days and there are bad days. Much like dealing with cancer, or so my cancer-stricken friends tell me. Sometimes a day can be both bad and good. Mood changes can be quick and unpredictable. I’ve learned to enjoy the good while it lasts, and alsoContinue reading “The sun will always shine tomorrow”

For several weeks now, I’ve been going for a series of yoga therapy sessions. It’s supposed to help my depression, but that’s only if I put in the effort to do my homework. I oscillate between depression and anxiety. On the weeks of anxiety, I have much energy and I can do a lot. OnContinue reading “Deep Relaxation Technique”

A grey fog has descended on everything. Your version of what happened differs from others who were actually there, just as you were. Someone is being gaslighted. Is it you doing the gaslighting? Or is it you being gaslighted? You don’t know anymore, and you no longer care. You don’t know who to trust, whoContinue reading “Grey fog”

“Daniel, why are you so far from the community now?” asked a friend some months ago. “You want to be given the option to accept or decline the invitation? If you keep declining, sooner or later, people will stop inviting you,” said another friend a few days ago. The funny thing about depression is thatContinue reading “Helium balloons floating away”

10 years ago, back when I first got depression, I kept feeling like my life had no meaning. Now, I still feel the same. Back then, someone told me that life inherently has no meaning, and that any meaning anyone’s life had, was created by themselves. From there, I came to realise that if myContinue reading “The meaning of life”

It feels like I’m drowning. It feels like, for a brief moment, everything is going to be alright. Then it feels like I’m drowning again. Like somebody pushed me under again. Busy. I have to keep busy. Lest these thoughts and feelings of despair overwhelm me.

I feel… disconnected. I keep scrolling my social media feeds, looking for someone to interact with. Yet when interaction comes, I withdraw from it. It’s not loneliness that I feel. It’s more of a sense of disconnection. Disconnected from my community. Disconnected from my friends. Disconnected from a bigger cause. Disconnected from myself. But asContinue reading “Disconnection”

I watched the movie Joker this week and there was this one line that struck me: “The worst part about having mental illness is people expect you to behave as if you don’t.” This is so true. I was expressing a problem I had which I could see is a direct consequence of withdrawal dueContinue reading “The worst part about having mental illness”