Last year I spent $18,500 for the whole year. This year, I hope the amount will be lower than that. It’s not yet my target though. My target monthly budget, probably achievable in 2021, is as follows: $200 – insurance without cash value $50 – household $30 – mobile subscription $75 – transport Total $355/mthContinue reading “Budget 2020”
Sometimes you wake up in the morning and you just know it’s gonna be a good day. Today is the first time I’m seeing the morning sun (after waking up) since 9 Jan. Most times I see the sun only after it’s crossed the zenith, unless I see it before going to bed. But today.Continue reading “Today’s gonna be a good day”
I’m moving past the anxiety curve and switching back to depression. I spent the whole of the past 48 hours reading 86 issues of Batman (2016).
I felt really bad and I wanted to escape it. I sought refuge in video games, but I got bored. I sought refuge in movies, but I got anxious. I sought refuge in books, but I got tired. I found refuge in comics. I’m still there.
My mum asked me, “How come you didn’t go to M’s birthday?” “I wasn’t invited,” I said. “That’s… sad,” she replied. “I mean, you built up this community and now they don’t invite you to their celebrations.” “No, it’s good,” I replied. “It means they don’t need me anymore. That frees me. It frees meContinue reading “Moving on”
I was watching the starting of Ralph Breaks The Internet last night, after which the movie refused to load so I turned it off. In that part, the two main characters were having an argument or discussion. Both of them spend their days working and their evenings having fun. And one of them asked, “IsContinue reading “Is there more to life?”
I’ve been having conversations with my inner self. I find it especially helpful in bouts of depression, because it allows me to cut through the haze of emotions and see what’s underlying it all. But when it comes to bouts of anxiety, there doesn’t seem to be any emotion. My inner self seems to beContinue reading “Emotionless”
I slept in today, because I couldn’t relax last night, and ended up exhausting myself so that I could finally fall asleep. But that’s okay, because I was supposed to meet a friend only at 2.45pm. My friend has very recently lost her father. I met her to go do a food rescue. I oftenContinue reading “Looking out for others”
Okay, it’s not boredom I’m feeling, but anxiety. Looks like the depression is gone for now, and has been replaced by anxiety. Anxiety is better than depression, but it brings about its own set of problems. Right now, it’s sleep disturbance. I am unable to relax. I have to stay awake until I feel soContinue reading “Anxiety”
I view this phase of boredom as a necessity. Out of boredom comes creativity. Most retirees go through this phase as well. It is a period whereby we discover our identity outside of work. As the feeling is unpleasant, it is very tempting to go and find some work to kill the feeling. But feelingsContinue reading “Necessity is the mother of invention”