Author Archives: Daniel Tay

I felt really bad and I wanted to escape it. I sought refuge in video games, but I got bored. I sought refuge in movies, but I got anxious. I sought refuge in books, but I got tired. I found refuge in comics. I’m still there.

My mum asked me, “How come you didn’t go to M’s birthday?” “I wasn’t invited,” I said. “That’s… sad,” she replied. “I mean, you built up this community and now they don’t invite you to their celebrations.” “No, it’s good,” I replied. “It means they don’t need me anymore. That frees me. It frees meContinue reading “Moving on”

I was watching the starting of Ralph Breaks The Internet last night, after which the movie refused to load so I turned it off. In that part, the two main characters were having an argument or discussion. Both of them spend their days working and their evenings having fun. And one of them asked, “IsContinue reading “Is there more to life?”

I’ve been having conversations with my inner self. I find it especially helpful in bouts of depression, because it allows me to cut through the haze of emotions and see what’s underlying it all. But when it comes to bouts of anxiety, there doesn’t seem to be any emotion. My inner self seems to beContinue reading “Emotionless”

I slept in today, because I couldn’t relax last night, and ended up exhausting myself so that I could finally fall asleep. But that’s okay, because I was supposed to meet a friend only at 2.45pm. My friend has very recently lost her father. I met her to go do a food rescue. I oftenContinue reading “Looking out for others”

Okay, it’s not boredom I’m feeling, but anxiety. Looks like the depression is gone for now, and has been replaced by anxiety. Anxiety is better than depression, but it brings about its own set of problems. Right now, it’s sleep disturbance. I am unable to relax. I have to stay awake until I feel soContinue reading “Anxiety”

I view this phase of boredom as a necessity. Out of boredom comes creativity. Most retirees go through this phase as well. It is a period whereby we discover our identity outside of work. As the feeling is unpleasant, it is very tempting to go and find some work to kill the feeling. But feelingsContinue reading “Necessity is the mother of invention”

I was thinking today if I should go back to work. I’ve been feeling kind of bored. It’s been almost 3 years since I started my mini retirement, when I stopped working full-time. I had thought to spend only 2 years going without work, thinking I would finish spending all my savings and have toContinue reading “Boredom”

Some days, even before you open your eyes in the morning, you just know it’s gonna be a bad day. Then you have a choice. Either you wallow in bed in self-pity, or you get up anyway and face the day. You keep busy. You do the things you’ve been putting off. Preferably things thatContinue reading “Some days”

Dealing with depression and anxiety means that there are good days and there are bad days. Much like dealing with cancer, or so my cancer-stricken friends tell me. Sometimes a day can be both bad and good. Mood changes can be quick and unpredictable. I’ve learned to enjoy the good while it lasts, and alsoContinue reading “The sun will always shine tomorrow”