Boredom

I was thinking today if I should go back to work. I’ve been feeling kind of bored.

It’s been almost 3 years since I started my mini retirement, when I stopped working full-time. I had thought to spend only 2 years going without work, thinking I would finish spending all my savings and have to go back to work.

But that hasn’t happened. Which is exactly how my life always seems to play out. Nothing goes according to plan. But in this case, it’s a good thing.

I can easily live another year on my savings. But the question is, do I want to?

One thing I’ve learned about myself is that I identify very much with my work. When I’m not working, I feel lost.

Who am I? That’s the crucial question.

I don’t have an answer. I don’t know what gets me out of bed in the morning, except maybe a full bladder and a back ache. I don’t feel I have anything to look forward to. I don’t feel like I’m doing anything with my life except to exist from day to day.

In short, I’m bored.