Longing and loss

Last night we walked along Ang Mo Kio Avenue 8, on the way to church.

You asked me, how long it’s been since the last time I went to church. Has it been a few years?

Not that long ago, I said. I was going to church three times a week.

Oh, you said. And left it at that.

We walked on, talking about our lives, about how things have changed since then.

Then I woke up. With mixed feelings.

There is a feeling of longing, of regret, of loss.

A longing for things to go back the way it used to be, when we were still friends. Best friends.

A regret for the way things turned out.

A loss for the friendship, the partnership, the soulmateship.

 

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